then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
