Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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