I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
