just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
