You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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