Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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