Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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