So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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