So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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