she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
