Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
