Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
