I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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