put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize