I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
