Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I need to sanitize my soul.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize