Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
