I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
