Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize