It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
