spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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