check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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