I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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