My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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