I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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