Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
