this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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