It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
