he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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