Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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