Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
