Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
