i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
