He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
