These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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