Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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