so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
