It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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