someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I got inside last night via doggy door
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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