Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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