thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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