I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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