and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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