Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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