I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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