I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She told me I should be a condom model.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
