How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
