no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
