Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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