I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
