Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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