we have pet lesbian snakes
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
