Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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