To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize