If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
