sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
