I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
3 2 1 whiskey
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
