What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
