Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
