So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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