At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We need to get me chipped asap
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
