Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
