it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
