I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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