I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
