brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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