Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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