The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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