i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
