Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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